Thursday, April 8, 2010

The Other "N" Word

A question was posed today on one of my fave hair blogs,, and I have no idea how to formally cross-post, but I thought I'd mention it here:

"Weigh in divas... is nappy a term of endearment, something we should embrace? Or do you feel offended when family and friends refer to your natural frock as nappy?

I just want to re-post my answer here, and also get your take on the question.

My response:

I've never had anyone call my hair "nappy" to my face, but I know that people *think it.* I've been called some other not-so-nice things. Some people are slick and subtle with it, e.g. "You should try a blowout! Look, I clipped out this newspaper article about it for you..." Others say it to their friends while you are in earshot. And sometimes it just shows on their faces.

These types of things used to really hurt me, but -- thank You, Father! -- it doesn't both me that much anymore. Why? I think the more mature you become (notice I didn't say "older"), the less other people's opinions matter. And more importantly, I believe what He says about me. Everything else is bunk, trite, and sometimes just plain evil. My people, when it happens to you (there's no "if," just "when") I encourage you to throw it in your mental garbage disposal, flush it, incinerate it -- do whatever you have to do to not internalize that thing -- and forgive that person... immediately! We add WAY too much value to people's personal preferences!

My hair is natural. This is the way God intended for it to come out of my head. You can call it kinky, curly, coily, or whatever you want, but the plain and simple fact is this texture is natural. It's mine. I take care of it. I like it. It's fun! My husband likes it (i was natural when we met, and yes, I think that makes a difference). It's here to stay.


Anonymous said...

Here here! lol @ mental garbage disposal--I love it!

Anali said...

Great post! Our society has so much self-loathing in general. We think that so much of who we are has to be changed. How long before we all learn to embrace our own natural beauty? It sure seems like time to me!